I remember back then when I was repeating the Housing Studio in the school of architecture, a lecturer once asked all of us what is our 3, 5 & 10? Pretty obvious, we all responded instantly by looking among ourselves, "what the heck is he talking about?". Only a couple of indirect explanations later (yeah, he's like that - nothing is direct) that we all understood what he meant by his reference of "3, 5 & 10". He was referring to the future plans - of short, mid and long term by translating it into the number of years set to achieve our dream.
Now, many years forward and almost reaching that 10 years landmark from the moment I was asked that question, I am no where near any of my teenage super dreams. Though I've sailed far beyond from where I came from and the perceptions it expects of me, I've been in the path of achieving that teenage dreams only to see it held a dark side unknown before to me. I'm currently wandering having tried to look for greener fields for the past 5 years and it provokes me with this one question, am I dreamless?
It seems like the options are running out for me. I've been wanting to practice good design only to see it drained me out completely when I worked for a design firm. I tried to be on top in the chain of food by joining a developer but wasn't prepared for the back-stabbing fiesta it held. Now that I want to be a public servant, somehow the employment terms are a complete joke! It is sad to know that on one side the government urges to have more professionals to serve for the country where in reality I am employed under very much insecure and unfavorable terms.
I had few meaningful 'teh tarik' sessions with few friends who apparently speak the same language (surprise! aren't we all Malaysians?) pouring out thoughts of what we had and hope in life. Exceptional for its food (it matches natively with our tongue), there's not much in favor of being in Malaysia and even to an extend of being a Malaysian. Issues pertaining to being patriotic arose but after a deliberate conversation, the value is of little worth. Why?
Excessive illegal timber felling by the greedy is backed up and sanctioned by the so-called guardian. Datukship is cheaply given to the unworthy and the opportunity to make fortune is to kiss the ass of these people with title. I am sad when there were contrasting statements regarding the Malay land at Kampung Baru by a minister of the very same race who is suppose to protect the Malay if we are to champion the idea of being patriotic. He suggested to have the Malay ownerships of Kampung Baru to be "liberalized" to the others in a 60:40 ratio. A recent visit by the Bendahara of Malaysia to Singapore saw another piece of Malaysian land being "liberalized" to be developed by a joint-venture company of both countries. How about the land used to build the official home for the nation's ruler being surrendered to the neighboring riches who built their mansion beyond their boundaries? The chief (of I-don't-want-to-tell-what-because-I-want-to-stay-indirect) rationalized, "Rakyat Diutamakan". The country is run by a bunch of jokers who can't tell what kind of 'rakyat' that they should champion for. Come on 'lah' Datuk² Seri, Datuk² and "Yang BerGelaran", you can do better. It's not for some towkays who sleeps on bed of monies.
Anyway, the arguments won't end. What is said is my view of what I think of my country's system and how it is being run today.
Well, are the options running out for me?
How about leaving Malaysia?
Back to 3, 5 & 10. Now, I have a dream.
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