It struck me deeply when 2 weeks ago I read a post from my schoolmate back then in Malacca. Previously, I tried to avoid even by the smallest comparison to begin with because I believe I would do it under the conscience of being an under achiever. It is easier to see the greener side of our next door compare to seeing the barren side of it. In simpler term, I do not want to get depressed unnecessarily.
The post reminds me of my childhood memories. I was brought up in a low income family. We lived in a low cost housing scheme. As previously I wrote, at that time, that was the world that I know of. Everything seemed relatively at par. The houses, the cars, the kids at school, the clothes they wore, the games we played, the food we ate - everything was almost at same level. I didn't compare, in fact, I couldn't even compare if I wanted to.
I didn't hear stories of oversea vacations because economically speaking, generally we couldn't afford it. I couldn't recall riding in a private car because firstly my family couldn't afford to own a car, and so are my friends' family. Let alone to experience being in a luxury car. To me, it's a kind of thing existed only in TV.
Therefore, as a kid, I didn't complaint much. I was happy to play badminton using the heavy and cheap racket I bought for less than RM5 from the only stationary store I knew. My parents couldn't afford to buy me toys of the famous weekend cartoons advertised in the TV. I didn't complaint because I was not even taught to do so. Almost all of my friends came from similar background. We had similar set of toys or nothing at all.
To earn a living, there's nothing spectacular to mention of. I wouldn't say there was a void of an ambition but life was comfortable as it was. Perhaps the achievement was set to what is within grasp. It's reflected within my family. I noticed it among my close neighbours and throughout the neighbourhood too, generally.
Somehow, few of us got lucky, gifted by the Almighty (thank God) to be able to get good results thus placing us in new venture - a venture that would slowly matured us and elevated us from the world that we used to know of. Like others, I was placed in a new circle. A circle that destroyed the parity that I was comfortable with ever since.
From this point onwards, the word is imparity. It is the conclusion for all struggles, challenges and difficulties I faced in life as an adult. I am still searching to understand the huge imparity within my circles. Circle of friends, friends of friends, co-workers, the people I work with in the industry and so on. My circles has now become bigger. And bigger it is the word imparity has become.
I have a friend who has bought a million dollar house. I have few friends who own luxury cars. I have friends who wear only branded items. I have friends who eat at fine diner and enjoy being spotted at (in most cases, by uploading it on Facebook for others to spot it, technically it's like they shouted for someone to notice). Most of my friends have went for holidays at exotic locations all over the world.
Frankly, I can't afford all those but I am in no way trying to imply those friends of mine also do not deserve the affordability to enjoy the good life. Perhaps, I am really bad at managing my financial well being. Or, in fact I am just trying to come out with a mere rationale, just to ease my worries due to my lack of understanding of these imparities.
I tried not to be overly concerned with the imparities by focusing more on giving the best in bringing up my family. In a way, consciously, I am very thankful to God because I never felt incomplete or having the feeling of always not enough when delivering my role to raise my family. Therefore, with those luxuries that I can't afford put aside, I am happy and comfortable with my current well being.
However, the contentment shall be nurtured and conserved well even when it transcends beyond the family circle. The challenge is when I am out of the family circle, I am exposed to the urge of status levitation by the outside circle (levitation: the process by which an object is suspended by a physical force against gravity). Though most of the time I managed to keep my feet on the ground, at times, there will be a situation that incites the discontentment.
Generally, discontentment happens through the new social media disease when subconsciously it becomes the platform for showing off. But in one case, it really hit me when I was not invited by some close friends to attend a motor show on one weekend. The realization came because I never showed interest when the duo was discussing the beautiful touring they are dreaming to buy during our evening tea sessions. Realizing how my feet stands on the ground, I know it is going to be a long dream to own a touring car hence it's better for me not to overly excited over it. The key word is 'unless' - unless you know you can afford it.
Never such it occured to me that I was sidelined due to imparity. I gave my thought about this to my lovely wife who later shed a tear. I am not deeply affected by this and it gave me a clear indication where I should position myself within a certain circle. I still do have a strong believe that by providing the best to my family remains my main focus, then everything shall be fine.
That is when 2 weeks ago, my schoolmate posted a rather touching experience of him celebrating the birthday of his son. He is in the beginning of starting a business and perhaps is still not running very well. The son asked where is the birthday cake when he answered that he can only afford to present him with just a piece of 'roti canai'.
This scenario touched me deeply. I can reflect myself in both places - the father and the son. As a father, I strongly believe that my friend wanted to give the best for his children and unfortunately at that time, that was the best he could do. Whatever it is, the pure love of a father to his children that matters the most and I am glad that his son understands his situation.
With his fatherly love as precedence, I should now concern on another form of imparity. I would try my best to eliminate the imparity of love, if any, towards my family especially during hard times like his.
Screw the material world.
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
The Orange
This year has been quite a hiatus for me from writing in here. Though occasionally I would have thought about something that is worthy to write but I would always forgot about it by the time it is proper for me to sit down and have it typed down.
This year, many things are looking to fall in its place. Firstly, career wise, I finally got to move on from doing jobs for that bad developer to doing other projects for few other different clients. Many thanks to my concerned colleagues who finally conveyed it to my boss that I was about to call it a day. He pulled me off from that project and I've had not heard from them ever since.
My biggest concern was that if there's any damage has been done. I realized I was always being sarcastic in most of my conversations in the office. I don't like about it but it was happening anyway. To countermeasure, I had to keep a check on it whenever I talked to my officemates and managed to keep it at a level.
I began to treat my work very lightly, all of these because I'm assuming it will never take off and would be a waste of my thoughts and efforts. I questioned a lot on the instructions given and would not take it seriously. It appeared that I have become rebellious. Professionally, this is very unprofessional and in the long run it will leave a scar of bad reputation to me.
Based on my experience having resigned from previous companies, it is proven that money is not the main factor for satisfaction. Discontent is a major problem. It may be in several forms and in my case was to deal with the crappy client. However, to have solved the main factor and then later being rewarded with a handsome pay hike, it looks like I'm going to extend my employment here.
On a sad note, some of my colleagues have left the office to pursue better dreams. To me, it was a battle lost for losing good people that may have driven the company to a new level.
With me got pulled out from the job, I was assigned to work on few other jobs. It was refreshing. Though some of it didn't get the kick off, somehow it felt good to work on something that meant a value. With this being said, I'm referring to my previous work with that bad developer as of little to no value.
I am currently assigned to a project located down south in Johor Bahru. The working environment is totally different. At least, some decisions are made and fought for. Consultants are treated with respect. I can see there is sensibility among these people even though they are also after the big money.
This job requires me to travel down south at least once every fortnight or at times, every week. I used to drive as it allows me some flexibilities but it is tiresome to make a return trip of 750 kilometres within 24 hours.
However, the company prefers me to fly there. So, I have now become a frequent flyer. The busiest flight schedule I had in a day was during early this month (October 2013) where I had to deliver an important document to the client's office and afterwards to attend the World Architecture Festival in Singapore (oh, a big YES, I now can fly out of Malaysia. Oh my!...Oh my!). My ticket to Singapore was bought one week in advance when few days later, I received an instruction to deliver the document urgently.
Technically, for travel claim process, the client's finance department is awkwardly rigid and requires any working trip shall have a return journey. It happened to another colleague working on the same development but in a different phase who took a lift back to KL with his brother in-law. So he didn't file a return travel claim and later there was a dispute within our finance department and theirs.
With this as precedent, instead of continuing my journey to Singapore since I already in a neighbouring state, I decided to return to Kuala Lumpur by afternoon, to avoid dispute between the finance departments, and just in time for me to be able to catch the flight to Singapore in the evening. Basically, I went down south twice that day by boarding on 3 flights.
Though for the past few months I have traveled a lot by wings, this year also marked another new exciting mode of transportation for me. It was a dream since my teenage years. Back then, when I was still in the boarding school, a friend utilized the empty space of my locker door by putting up a superbike poster. While in the beginning I didn't pay any attention to it but after having to look at it everyday when I opened my locker door I fell in love with beautiful bikes.
Early this year, I bought my first bike. It was a love at first sight. It is not a superbike because it is just a 200cc machine. However, it performs like a sport motorbike due to its high torque. As per many reviews, the bike is an urban machine. It suits perfectly for my justification to use it for me to commute daily to work. Once in a while, on weekends I would go for a 2-hour ride through the curvy road near my house. Being able to be on two wheels evokes a sense of liberty in me.
Looking at it all, it seems this year I am very much influenced or affected by the color orange. The company I'm working has been more accommodating in my career. It looks like I'm going to stay here and would be seeing more of their orange corporate color for another couple of years.
The new job I'm handling requires me to fly south frequently and the airport closest to my house is the base for an airline that uses orange as its corporate color too.
Finally, the two-wheel sexy machine I just bought is produced by an Austrian manufacturer, using the color orange primarily for most of the bikes they manufactured.
Perhaps, I would like to call the year 2013 is the year of the orange to me.
This year, many things are looking to fall in its place. Firstly, career wise, I finally got to move on from doing jobs for that bad developer to doing other projects for few other different clients. Many thanks to my concerned colleagues who finally conveyed it to my boss that I was about to call it a day. He pulled me off from that project and I've had not heard from them ever since.
My biggest concern was that if there's any damage has been done. I realized I was always being sarcastic in most of my conversations in the office. I don't like about it but it was happening anyway. To countermeasure, I had to keep a check on it whenever I talked to my officemates and managed to keep it at a level.
I began to treat my work very lightly, all of these because I'm assuming it will never take off and would be a waste of my thoughts and efforts. I questioned a lot on the instructions given and would not take it seriously. It appeared that I have become rebellious. Professionally, this is very unprofessional and in the long run it will leave a scar of bad reputation to me.
Based on my experience having resigned from previous companies, it is proven that money is not the main factor for satisfaction. Discontent is a major problem. It may be in several forms and in my case was to deal with the crappy client. However, to have solved the main factor and then later being rewarded with a handsome pay hike, it looks like I'm going to extend my employment here.
On a sad note, some of my colleagues have left the office to pursue better dreams. To me, it was a battle lost for losing good people that may have driven the company to a new level.
With me got pulled out from the job, I was assigned to work on few other jobs. It was refreshing. Though some of it didn't get the kick off, somehow it felt good to work on something that meant a value. With this being said, I'm referring to my previous work with that bad developer as of little to no value.
I am currently assigned to a project located down south in Johor Bahru. The working environment is totally different. At least, some decisions are made and fought for. Consultants are treated with respect. I can see there is sensibility among these people even though they are also after the big money.
This job requires me to travel down south at least once every fortnight or at times, every week. I used to drive as it allows me some flexibilities but it is tiresome to make a return trip of 750 kilometres within 24 hours.
However, the company prefers me to fly there. So, I have now become a frequent flyer. The busiest flight schedule I had in a day was during early this month (October 2013) where I had to deliver an important document to the client's office and afterwards to attend the World Architecture Festival in Singapore (oh, a big YES, I now can fly out of Malaysia. Oh my!...Oh my!). My ticket to Singapore was bought one week in advance when few days later, I received an instruction to deliver the document urgently.
Technically, for travel claim process, the client's finance department is awkwardly rigid and requires any working trip shall have a return journey. It happened to another colleague working on the same development but in a different phase who took a lift back to KL with his brother in-law. So he didn't file a return travel claim and later there was a dispute within our finance department and theirs.
With this as precedent, instead of continuing my journey to Singapore since I already in a neighbouring state, I decided to return to Kuala Lumpur by afternoon, to avoid dispute between the finance departments, and just in time for me to be able to catch the flight to Singapore in the evening. Basically, I went down south twice that day by boarding on 3 flights.
Though for the past few months I have traveled a lot by wings, this year also marked another new exciting mode of transportation for me. It was a dream since my teenage years. Back then, when I was still in the boarding school, a friend utilized the empty space of my locker door by putting up a superbike poster. While in the beginning I didn't pay any attention to it but after having to look at it everyday when I opened my locker door I fell in love with beautiful bikes.
Early this year, I bought my first bike. It was a love at first sight. It is not a superbike because it is just a 200cc machine. However, it performs like a sport motorbike due to its high torque. As per many reviews, the bike is an urban machine. It suits perfectly for my justification to use it for me to commute daily to work. Once in a while, on weekends I would go for a 2-hour ride through the curvy road near my house. Being able to be on two wheels evokes a sense of liberty in me.
Looking at it all, it seems this year I am very much influenced or affected by the color orange. The company I'm working has been more accommodating in my career. It looks like I'm going to stay here and would be seeing more of their orange corporate color for another couple of years.
The new job I'm handling requires me to fly south frequently and the airport closest to my house is the base for an airline that uses orange as its corporate color too.
Finally, the two-wheel sexy machine I just bought is produced by an Austrian manufacturer, using the color orange primarily for most of the bikes they manufactured.
Perhaps, I would like to call the year 2013 is the year of the orange to me.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Content or Complacent? The Fine Line Between "I'm Fine" & "I'm Amazing!" by Amy
Credit to the original author for the article below. This re-posting is for my future reference.
If you’ve read my ebook, you know that anti-complacency is probably a proper adjective to describe me.
Complacency silences dreams, smothers passion, and just plain keeps you from living the full, beautiful life you deserve to live.
I’ve been in a complacent job. I’ve been in a complacent relationship. It’s torturous slaving away at something you pretend to care about just because you’re too scared to venture out and try.
Now don’t get me wrong here: I know quite a few people that like their easy job and structure and you know what I say? Good for you! If you are happy in your life and do not want to change it, you are not complacent; you are content. I’m speaking to the people who are sitting around, not caring that their lives are wasting away from under them while they know there is more they want to achieve.
If this is you, please keep reading.
To not care about your life is a great mistake.
Your life is so important to us. Your fight, your triumphs, your trials and tribulations all uniquely affect our world and everyone you come into contact with.
If you’re floating through life, in a haze of slight discomfort and deep-seated yearning, you owe yourself a chance.
So how do you tell if you’re content or complacent? You probably already know deep down inside, but in case you’re not sure, I’ve devised a little test for just that:
1. When you think of your job, you feel:
A) At peace, happy and fulfilled
B) Unhappy or miserable
C) Numb
2. When you think of your relationship, you feel:
A) At peace, happy and fulfilled
B) Unhappy or miserable
C) Numb
3. When you think of your life in total, you feel:
A) At peace, happy and fulfilled
B) Unhappy or miserable
C) Numb
I know, not a really deep test, huh? That’s because I don’t think you have to go very deep to find out if you’re complacent or not.
If you answered A to any of those questions, you should be just fine. You’re most likely content, and should sit pretty where you are unless you know you want more.
If you answered B or C to any of those questions, you need to stand back and take a deeper look at your life. What exactly makes you unhappy, miserable or numb? Is there something you’re refusing to face about your situation? Is there something more that you want from your life?
Please, before you start thinking that all is lost, stop. This is a wonderful thing that you’re realizing this now.
There are a couple of things you can do now if you’ve just realized that you want more from your life.
1. If it’s a necessary job/relationship/life choice, come to peace with it
Not all situations are easily mendable. Maybe you need this paycheck to pay off medical bills or student loans. Maybe you need to stay in this relationship for your children.
But let me ask you something before we come to that conclusion:
Is there any other way (even if it requires a lot more work on your part) to pay those bills/support those children that would create more happiness in your life? Would the work required be worth the payoff?
If you answered “no” to the above questions, come to terms with the fact that this is just the way it needs to be. Once you accept that circumstance, you’d be amazed at the way your mind can shift from focusing on the negative to allowing yourself to see the positive.
2. If you answered “yes” to the questions above, it’s time to take action.
Hard work can be quite scary. I’ll be the first to admit that.
But if you keep your focus on the payoff, you’ll get through it, and come out stronger, whether you win or lose.
Identify exactly what you want from your life, and brainstorm how to get it.
Then, do it.
That’s it.
No complicated sequences, particulars or justifications of why you can’t. Because you can.
About 99% of the people who have come to me asking for advice about how they can take these steps to get to their ideal life, actually know what they need to do. Many times, we just want someone to tell them that we can, we want to be able to hear it from outside ourselves, or we want to be able to blame someone else if we fail.
Well, let me tell you right now that for those of you who know what you need to do, you can do this. If you want it, and you’re driven to get it, stay focused, and you’ll get as close as you possibly can.
That last part is what scares people off: “you’ll get as close as you possibly can.”
Because unfortunately, we just can’t control every part of the universe to collaborate and provide us with our ideal life. All we can do is do our best and hope that it’s enough.
People say that when you do your best, the universe conspires to help you achieve it. Whether you’re into the law of attraction or not, you have to admit that driven people are more likely to accomplish what they want than people who don’t ever try at all.
An excellent example of this lies in the team from the movie, “I’m Fine, Thanks,” which is(not at all coincidentally ;)) a movie about Grant Peelle’s decision to take a big risk and leave his complacent job behind to set an example for his 2 little boys.
I was inspired to write this post after hearing from my buddy, Adam Baker, that they were finally releasing the DVD for sale. Mine’s been on pre-order for a while, but if you haven’t bought your copy yet, I highly recommend it. It’s a great inspiration for living a life of fulfillment and courage (not to mention that you might get a glimpse of little ol’ me in there ;)).
To get your copy, click here to go to the “I’m Fine, Thanks” site. (non-affiliate link)
I was so honored to be a small part of this project, and I truly believe in the message that they’re striving to get out there. Even if you don’t pick up the DVD or download, it’s worth taking a look-see.
Like Grant, I don’t want you to settle for “fine,” which in other words means slightly miserable, witholding your unique voice from the world, and stifling your endless yearning for more. I want you to be “EFFING AMAZING!” feeling every part of your life; ups, downs and everywhere in between!
If you’re content, awesome. Kudos to you. Seriously. I am honestly so so so happy for you!
If you’re not, however, I hope that you realize that you have the opportunity right now to change your future. You can choose to stop wasting your passions and start living fully in this moment. Are you going to take it, or are you going to sit back and watch it pass you by?
Me? I’m grabbing mine by the horns and doing the best I can and hoping like hell it’s enough.
Are you?
In the comments below, tell me if you’re taking a stand against complacency, and the exact action you plan to take today to do it. If you’re content, tell me that, too!
Looking forward to hearing from you, my strong friends. Till then, stay strong, guys.
-Amy
The Universe Doesn't Give A Flying Fuck About You by Johnny B. Truant (quoted from johnnybtruant.com)
Read this a while ago and it hit me straight to my face. I've been searching back for this article and it took me about a year (not to say I spent the whole 365 days looking for it) and tonight, on the first day of a new year, I've found it. It's new year and perhaps it's a good read for anybody to start anew. Gonna share it here and re-post it in my FB for future reference. Good night everyone!
Credit to the original author for the article below. This re-posting is for my future reference.
Credit to the original author for the article below. This re-posting is for my future reference.
I’ve been watching this show lately with my 6-year-old son, Austin, who likes learning about space and planets and black holes and stuff. It’s called How the Universe Works.
And man, the universe has one hell of a story to tell.
It all starts with, presumably, the Big Bang, wherein a single point in space barfs forth a hot, violent soup of particles and energy that take a few hundred million years just to cool down enough to begin coalescing into stars. You know… to “cool down” enough to become giant fucking balls of fire.
Stars ignite. Star clusters form, and become galaxies. Rocks in space start running into each other, and a few planets are created.
Eventually, the Earth is born. Hooray!
The Earth sits there for a few more billion years, until, after a lot of back and forth and general bureaucratic indecision, life shows up. Very, very recently, humanity, (which is perfect and unique if you ignore how random it all seems), makes its appearance. Hooray!
That lasts for a little while. Humans thrive. Invent the rotisserie. Build the internet. Watch porn.
After a bit, though (and this part of the story is still unwritten, but definitely coming) the sun sloughs off its outer layers, obliterating all of the inner planets as it dies. Then, as the fusion at the sun’s core that keeps it inflated runs out of raw materials, it collapses into a white dwarf, and the solar system weeps as it loses yet another great player to retirement.
Hooray!
After this, it gets really fun. The astrophysicists who used to think the universe was going to re-contract into the “Big Crunch” now say that the universe’s expansion is actually accelerating. Meaning: After enough time passes, the Earth’s old position (Earth having been blown away aeons ago, of course) will be so distant from anything else that you’d be able to look up into the sky and see absolutely nothing at all.
Quite a story, right?
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper
Deep, man.
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper
Deep, man.
I don’t know about you, but looking up into the sky on a clear night is enough to give me existential chills.
You’re not just looking up into a curtain of black. You’re looking into the eye of the universe. Stare for a while and you start to realize — on a deep, gut level — that the moon is a giant rock circling us in space. The sun is a violent, fusion-fueled ball of plasma and gas millions of miles away that destroyed the atmospheres of all of the inner planets (including Mars, which is farther away from it than we are) and would do the same to ours if we weren’t lucky enough to have a magnetic field that diverts the solar wind.
The cute little pinpricks of light you see out there are other giant, explosive, incredibly pissed-off balls of gas floating in an infinite void, most of which arefar more impressive than our puny sun. And that smear of milky white through the sky? That’s the center of our own galaxy — a gigantic pinwheel circling a supermassive black hole like floating detritus around the vortex of a flushing toilet.
There’s a lot of crazy shit going on out there.
And in fact, the Earth could bite the dust at any time.
Comets. Asteroids. Apparently, there’s even a star nearby that may eventually go all black hole on us. When it does, it’ll shoot a jet of X-Men style radiation out of its poles, perpendicular to its accretion disc, directly at us. (The good news is that we’d never see it coming. We’d just suddenly be reduced to our constituent atoms.)
Even avoiding all of that, though, just buys us time. The Earth is not permanent. The sun is not permanent. The oldest stars alive today are not permanent. It will all end.
And in the middle of this story (because we’re the ones telling it), is us.
Here on our little blue planet. Here at this exact, tiny, special blink in time. Here, but only “here” in the way a beetle might be “there” on the sidewalk of Times Square during rush hour. Sure, the beetle can survive, but only for as long as it’s not in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Nobody’s out to get that beetle… but nobody’s watching where they’re stepping, either.
The city was there long before the beetle, and it’ll be there long after the beetle’s inevitable demise.
The city, always neutral, honestly doesn’t care one way or the other whether the beetle lives, dies, suffers, or thrives.
And you were worried that trying something new might make you look dumb or that your business might not make any money.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
The universe doesn’t care about you.
It can’t. It’s too big, with too much going on.
Maybe there’s a grand conductor, and maybe there’s not. I do happen to believe in God, or the Spirit of Life, or the Force for all I know, but regardless of belief or disbelief, one thing I know for certain is that no matter WHAT or WHO is out there, he or it doesn’t “care” if you define “care” in terms of life and death. Nobody is special. Nobody gets a pass.
Everything dies. Everything. You were born with a terminal disease, just like everything else that has ever existed. You, your lamp, the sun, and the Bee Gees all have that in common.
This, like the universe’s apathy, is neither good nor bad. It is simply a fact.
But this fact — the immutable, inevitable, impossibly obvious fact we will die as surely as we were born — is something we all deny for most of our lives. You’d think we’re never going to die, the way we cower and second-guess and fret over each little action. We act like what we do today will forever alter the flow of creation, of time, of space. Every move is vital. Each little event could upset the delicate balance. Everything is of paramount importance.
We can’t do things differently, because the system, however imperfect, works and is extremely delicate. We might upset it by thinking outside the box.
We have to weigh every decision, because a butterfly flapping its wings in Nova Scotia could cause a hurricane in Guam. Or, as Homer Simpson taught us, if you kill a mosquito in dinosaur times, Ned Flanders might become the unquestioned lord and master of the universe.
We can’t do something that might make us look ridiculous, because first impressions last forever.
We can’t try and fail, because then we’ll be ruined forever.
Think a scar (or a tattoo, for that matter) is permanent? It’s not. Your body was literally formed from stardust and will eventually return there. The duration of a scar doesn’t even register on the big time line. In fact, I heard that God watches jewelry commercials and LOL’s when they say that diamonds are forever. It’s all a big joke up there. There’s a drinking game in Heaven, where angels do a shot every time humans invest “for the long term.”
What are you so fucking worried about?
You are here now. Eventually, you will be gone. You have but a nanosecond on the universal clock to do whatever it is you’re going to do. When that time is gone, it’s gone. Forever.
That means that although what you do doesn’t matter to the universe, it should matter one hell of a lot to YOU.
In fact, it should matter to you more than it currently does. If you knew how small you are and how short a time you have to do what you can, you wouldn’t waste time watching five fucking hours of TV a day. You wouldn’t waste time doing a job you hate. You wouldn’t waste the little time you have dealing with assholes, feeling sorry for yourself, or being timid about the things you’d really like to do.
I’m 35, and it dawned on me just recently that it’s not at all long before I’ll be forty. And forty is FUCKING OLD in the mind of a guy with the mentality and sense of humor of a teenager. I mean, hell, you can make an argument for 30 being young despite the fact that the MTV crowd says different, but forty-something is what your grandmother was.
When I had this epiphany, a succession of uncomfortable and incredibly obvious realizations followed.
If I can turn 40, I can turn 50.
If I can turn 50, I can turn 60.
Once, I was a kid and everyone else was old. The tables will turn. I’ll be the guy that kids look at and see as old. Me. Fucking ME. Me, who was once out cruising on Friday nights, staying up until dawn. Me, who thought I was indestructible, who thought I was forever. Turns out I was wrong. Turns out I was just one in 6.8 billion, and very much subject to the same laws of time and space as everyone else.
One day, if I’m very lucky, I’ll be a shriveled 100-year old guy with a cane. An old man with a kid’s mind, wondering how the hell this could have happened.
Think about this. Now.
Think back five years in time. Remember what you were like. Realize how fast five years can go. Think about who you are today, the place you’re in and the age you are. Then step back into the shoes of your five-years-ago self and look at yourself as you are today.
I have two kids. That’s not possible. People like me don’t have kids. We’re too young. We’re kids ourselves, forever young and irresponsible. It’s ridiculous. I live in a house that I own. I pay bills. It’s crazy.
Think about it.
Realize that time will never stop. NEVER. You will never be younger again. It’s like being on a train with no stops that’s always leading you farther and farther from home… or closer and closer to home, depending on how you look at it. You can never get off that train. You can never board a train going the opposite direction.
If you missed a stop, tough shit.
If there was this great thing even just two miles back that you decided not to do, you can’t change your mind and go do it. That place is gone forever.
A simple example for me is skateboarding. I’d have loved to do that. And sure, adults can learn to skateboard. I’m a huge believer in “it’s never too late for X.” But really… REALLY… if you want to truly skate, that’s something for the young. I know I won’t be taking it up now, shredding through our concrete jungle.
In my past, there’s also an opportunity I could have taken advantage of that I didn’t, and that I wish I had. There’s a thing I got rid of that I really wish I’d kept.
But the train never backs up. Never. I missed those things, and I will never get a second chance.
Do yourself a favor, right now, and realize two things:
1. You will keep getting older, and then you will die.
2. Everything that’s ever entered your experience has lasted and will continue to last for only a brief moment in the life of the universe.
This is game time, champ. You’re in. You’re in, playing, right now, and the clock is ticking.
So stop wondering what it all means and how you’ll possibly ever do X and what people will think, and get on with your life already.
Stop being a pussy and go do something amazing.
Do epic shit.
I’m just now getting around to the end of the newer Battlestar Galacticaseries and something hit me when Dr. Baltar suited up with the troops for the end assault on the Cylon colony.
It’s this: Noble people do noble things.
That’s it. See, throughout the series, Baltar is a selfish asshole. He’s responsible for the annihilation of the human race, he betrays everyone, he forms a cult that rubs his chest and feeds him grapes.
But in the end, he does the right thing. And when I saw that, I realized that it doesn’t matter what you’ve done. What matters is what you do.
A whole series’ worth of being ignoble doesn’t stop a truly noble act at the end from being noble. The idea of “nobility” (or “good,” or “bad,” or “worthy,” or “awesome,” or anything else) is defined only by our actions.
You can’t be a bad person who does good things. If you do good things, you’re not bad; you’re good. There is simply no way to manifest badness other than by being bad. Anyone who’d argue that you can be bad while ultimately doing good things is just a douchebag philosophy major looking to get his ass kicked.
So what does this mean to you?
Why… it means everything. It means that in the small amount of time you have to live, you can be whatever you want. It means that even though the universe doesn’t care enough to give you what you want, it doesn’t care enough to stop you from having it, either. So embrace that anarchy, and take those things for yourself.
If you want to be awesome in this life, do awesome things.
If you want to be a leader, do some leading.
If you want to be an expert, do the things an expert does.
A few weeks ago, I talked to Trust Agents co-author Julien Smith, and soon after, he sent me this tweet:
For a moment, I wondered, “How the hell can I be more epic?”
But then I realized something really obvious. To be epic, all I’d need to do is to do epic shit.
So that’s what I’m doing, today and from here on out.
How to level up
Just do it. Claim it. Stop waiting for permission to be epic.
Most people think that they need to be tapped on the shoulder by the Epic Fairy if they ever hope to be epic, or if they’re ever going to have the audacity to do something truly epic. But it’s not true. Want to be epic? Just do epic shit. There’s nothing else to it.
People always say, “I wish I was amazing. I wish I was awesome.”
Fucking hell. Stop whining and just be it already. Be fucking awesome.
Nobody’s going to give you the gift of awesome. Nobody’s going to make you good, or great, or amazing, or epic. Nobody’s going to make you an expert or an authority or a voice anyone should listen to. Nobody’s going to level you up. If you want that next level, take it. Take it for yourself.
Grab it. Become it. Claim it.
Write a treatise. Create an event. Champion a cause. Build something great. Speak your mind. Make the call. Build the business. Author the book. Send the email. Do it. Do it.
If you fail, big deal.
You might write something and nobody might read it. You might build it and nobody might come. You could fail and ruin your life. You could take a chance and end up looking really, really stupid. Boo-fucking-hoo.
It doesn’t matter.
You are very small. We are all staring down the barrel of a gun, and we last only for the tiniest, tiniest moment in time. Your life is a one-way train, and any second you waste is a second lost forever.
You are that beetle on the streets of New York. The universe doesn’t hate you, but it doesn’t love you, either. You’re just an atom in its infinite workings. The universe doesn’t care if you live, die, suffer, or thrive.
Only YOU care.
If your life is to mean something, it’s up to YOU.
You cannot influence the movements of planets. You cannot live forever. You cannot affect the entropy of the universe. All you can do is to make this moment — your moment — better. You can affect the lives of others around you, and you can affect your own life. You can ease some suffering. You can do some epic shit. If you, yourself, only last for a nanosecond, you might expand your influence to a millisecond. And that’s something. Honest, it is.
You don’t matter to the planets and the sun and the stars, but you matter to YOU. You matter to those around you. You matter to those you can reach, and touch, and who you live and die with.
Stop waiting for someone to give you what you want. The universe is too busy to care. It has worlds to create and galaxies to destroy. If you’re worried about death and about your own end, don’t. It’s coming whether you like it or not. You will either arrive at the end of your life in style or you will arrive broken and beaten, but whichever way you choose, have no doubt that you WILL ARRIVE.
There is only now. If you have power, it’s now. If you can change anything, you have to do it now. If you want to be or to have that next great thing, be it. Have it. Take it. Own it. Do it. Become it.
Be awesome. Do epic shit.
Do it now. The clock is ticking.
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