This is a long overdue chapter, a continuation from the 1st part that was written almost one and a half year ago.
As the boat slowly left the jetty, we sailed through the shallow river towards the river mouth. I could see the water has receded because some of the boats appeared to be driven ashore at the river bank. Not much activity, perhaps the daily fisherman had already settled down at home. It was pretty much quiet except for the sound from our boat's engine which had me praying it was powerful enough to sail us safely for the next 48 hours at sea.
Before we reached the river mouth, I recalled an old memory from a trip back from Pulau Perhentian almost 10 years ago. Just before we reached the river mouth of Kuala Besut from the open sea, we had to sail through rough water because of the intersection between water from the river and water from the sea. The boat I was sailing in rocked wildly before we finally managed to enter the calm water of Kuala Besut.
Hence, as we were reaching the river mouth of Mersing, silently I braced myself for what was expected to come. However, after minutes of having myself in a state of alert, I realized that we had sailed far from the land as the city lights were slowly becoming tiny bright dots in the horizon viewed from the stern.
As we sailed further out to open sea, the water became rough and we started to feel sudden gush when the boat hit the rough waves. The mood began to change from the joyous crowd to almost silence. Some started to show the seasick symptoms so we started to pick a spot each for us to rest our dizzy heads. Since the boat is relatively small, some of us ended up laid down on the boat deck with our bag as the pillow.
Though I've sailed at open sea as a young boy but it was on a big ship. A reality check: I am now sailing on a small fishing boat to an island 60 kilometers away in an almost pitch dark night, with the seawater started to occasionally splash onto my face as I laid down - it really scared the shit out of me. With the fact that I don't know how to swim if the worst happens, I started to locate the life buoy and did a quick analysis of who were close to it if in any case that I need to put up a struggle to fight for it.
I thought I would be fine but even with my prior experience, it still didn't help much as I started to feel dizzy too. Only hours later that I found a way to overcome it - I have to position myself in relation with the horizon. But it was pitch dark. After hours into the situation, my eyes managed to adapt to the darkness around me and I was able to see 20 to 30 meters beyond. That helped in easing my dizziness. But with that vision clarity, it also further justified my fear because now I can see how high the waves were.
A dear friend became really sick. He walked and swayed across the deck to the side of the boat and vomited to what appeared to be out into the sea but then just to be discovered by me and another friend in the next morning that he had threw it all out onto the boat's deck. Despite that, what worried me most was that he might be unlucky and get thrown out into the sea due to the nature of the heavy rocking.
After about four hours into the journey and almost everyone was fast asleep (or still fighting over the seasick), suddenly I heard the boat's engine started to slow down. I was not asleep and so did the organizer but we kept quiet. With the silence, the sound of the waves dominated the atmosphere. At that time, the clear magnitude of the waves were clearly understood when using all sensory. It was indeed very scary.
Suddenly, the captain appeared. He asked whether either of us had noticed the lights of Pulau Tioman. He mentioned that by this hour of journey, we should have seen the lights of Pulau Tioman from our left-front side. And with that, we should have seen the lights of Pulau Pemanggil on our right-front side. What worried him though, he had not seen any of those lights and he feared that we might have by-passed those two last islands. Damn! We probably had hit the far open sea of South China Sea!
The captain returned to his bridge, revved up the engine and continued the journey. I and the organizer exchanged mixed looks. We both lit up cigarettes and puffed away our worries out to the sea. We didn't want to wake up the others.
I looked up to the sky and couldn't see any stars. It must have been very cloudy. I tried to locate the horizon but to no avail when again, suddenly the captain stuck his head out of the bridge yelling he had seen the lights of Pulau Tioman. Slowly I pulled myself up, strongly holding to the boat's structure and peeked out to the left of the boat. Far in the distance, a few very tiny dot of lights visible. I felt relieved and exchanged a smile with the organizer who later lit up another stick and puffed away the reliefs.
About half an hour, I started to notice another few tiny dot of lights on the right-front. That must be the lights of Pulau Pemanggil I presumed. Now, after hours out in the rough sea, the glimpse of lights appeared as a big hope for me. Since then, I locked my eyes to that lights with one of it beaming much brighter than the others. Later I found out it was the light of the only telco tower on the island.
As we were slowly reaching the island, it was weird because I was unable to distinguish the silhouette of the island in contrast with the night sky. The only clear visibility were still the lights. Nothing else. As we came closer, slowly and slowly the shape of the island appeared, out from the mist. Apparently, the island and Pulau Tioman too were hidden from visibility behind the mist. My eyes began to distinguish its shape and without realizing a certain chill creeped inside me. Under the dark silhouette, the shape of the island is monumental with only a small part of the island where the lights were, is inhabited. The rest of the island is dark. In darkness, I could see palm trees dominates the island's landscape.
I thought that since we had been through rough waves at sea, the captain would sail to the small settlement area and dock at the jetty to wait for next morning. My hope was crushed when our boat slowly sailed to the other side of the island and later, those lights were none to be seen.
I have studied the geographical shape of the island on the map prior to the journey. Logically, the settlement (and any other coastal settlements) would have been built at a location protected from the danger of the sea. Therefore, when the captain decided to sail to the other side of the island, I concluded that we were heading to the side of the island that is exposed to the open sea of South China Sea. I became worried. Why we did not dock at the jetty and why were we heading to the side of the island?
Only when we reached the side of the island that I realized that the sea was much calmer. Though, the waves were still high but it's a lot better than before. I could spot another two vessels with their lights on and from that lights, I could notice that those boats, and ours, were still experiencing high waves but not as rocking as what we had been through the past six hours.
The captain released the anchor, it's time to have another puff and to get some sleep. The dawn is near and later we're going to enjoy our time fishing.
Yes, the hope was still there.
To be continued.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Sunday, October 28, 2012
The Corporate Chickens
In recent weeks, I was all stressed up due to my works in the office. I've been working for the same client and the same project for almost 2 years now. The client has been difficult since the beginning and I've been living with these difficulties ever since.
One day, that was after few days of thinking, I thought that I've had enough. I need to talk to my boss. I have been drafting the words that I'm going to use when I meet him - "Firstly, I love working here together with those wonderful friends and secondly, quitting is the last thing on my mind. But, in between there is this problem...".
The client is a very reputable developer in the country. They are refuted as being the number one in the industry. They built good townships, sometimes with refreshing concept to what is available in the market. Their sales are always good except for one commercial development, perhaps due to their lack of experience in developing one. With all these, comes the reputation that they must maintain. To stay as a leader in the industry, maintaining alone is not enough. They need to grow that reputation. They need to come out with something new.
Now, that is the problem. The main problem.
To be able to come out with something new, one needs to understand few things. In my opinion, the past achievements are important because now what they need to do is a tricky balancing act of connecting and disconnecting with the past at the same time. They need to connect to know what has been done that contributed to the success and later to ditch it totally when exploring for the new future. Finally, a delicate balance between the two to create an ideal product that will show the market of what is their direction for the future, and at the same time bridging it all with their glorious past.
I was instructed to come out with something new and locally radical. I wouldn't call it revolutionary because it is not totally new. Other people have done it elsewhere but not here in Malaysia hence it will be easily perceived as radical in the local context. To the client, when it's radical, the 'wow' factor will always come with it. They want to wow the market and their competitors.
To make matters worst from my point of view as the consultant, it's not just the external competitors that their trying to beat but the boundary has dissolved to be within their own - between their subsidiaries, townships and senior execs. It is widely regarded that competition is healthy but in a way here, most of the time it has become a personal agenda for them to climb up the corporate ladder. It has turned into the devil within.
I have to deal with few devils of various ranks. Imagine the last person sending out instruction to me has at least more than two tiers above him to get the approval. I assume with his authority to send out instructions, he is equally accountable and responsible for whatever decision he makes. He should be able to make the best decision that in general not only will benefit the company, but in particular to the immediate boss above him, where in return will favor the boss above his boss, and so on. The chain is long but the void of this capability in making the best decision (not necessarily the best, at least to make a mere decision and be held responsible for it) has made the design process a big joke.
To pen it down easier, I'll give an actual scenario. The product is always a building, be it a house, office, shop etc. The highest management has decided that a sellable product must be available in 1 year time. Instructions passed down until it reached me as the architect. In between the highest management and the architect, all the executives are big cowards in determining the actual description of the product. The product is still left as the 'product'. They did not properly define it. None of them want to hold the responsibility and accountability if the product fails. They passed it down to the architect to formulate the product.
When I start, it was always under big vagueness of what I have to come out with. Constant grey and general instructions such as "it has to make an impact" and back to "it has to be sellable" put more pressure on me to come out with the perfect product.
Definitely, a lot of time consumed in developing the vague instructions. When I have come out with some visuals, there goes the process of gaining approval from the upper layers. Most of the time it was met with rejection, or at least with major modifications required. Blame is always on the architect. Here, time is ripped off me. And the budget too. Surprisingly, they can't afford it. Not because they don't have money but being a pure capitalist, minimum spending of your revenue will in return increase your profit margin.
It is very indeed true. But not when you are inventing to grow. Inventing is investing. Either time, brain source, effort or financial.
So, if they want to continue making profit, they should just stick to the already winning formula. Why bother to be new? From here, what I can see is that the vision of the leaders is lost halfway through the weak execs they employed. The leaders see what the future holds but the execs are well tied to the past fearing their decision making will turn into a failure and jeopardize the good paycheck they're enjoying every month.
In my opinion, the best practice is for the client to come out with a clear brief, a brief that they have to commit to. The architect will work around that. It is the common ground of understanding for both parties. Do not ask for something that you can't afford. Architects are not your fairy goddamn-mother.
As I mentioned above, I am stuck with the same client and the same project for almost 2 years. The loss is to my office, even to any office. Even though the project is prolonged, it is not reflected in the fee. The fee is still the same and will only entitled to claim once the project hit on site. Despite all that, I am still getting paid every months.
However, the biggest damage on my side is the mental stress I have endured somehow has affected me. The full extent is still unknown but there have been negative symptoms. I would prefer a prevention before it's too late.
Sadly, from the third paragraph onwards are what I wanted to say (or something pretty much similar to it) but it didn't happen when I finally met my boss. Understanding his already limited options if I ever to back off and noticing the needs to continue the project for the sake of the office, I realized actually my job is not just to fulfill the client's requirement but the most immediate urgency is for me to recognize and protect the interests of my boss.
With that realization, somehow it frees me up and I will continue on that project with an aim to finish it. I remember a light joke I made to my colleague when he mentioned about the recent achievements by two of our friends. Put aside that foreign award one of them is receiving and a professional title for the other, under current circumstance, my career goal is short termed and that is to just complete this project. At least, having it short termed has freed me up of my worry from the future and lifted the stress away from me. When I walked home that day while listening to a new nice song, the day felt so beautiful. It was also the day my wife received a good news - she has landed a job finally.
Cineplexx - Cosas De La Vida Normal
(seriously, I don't understand a single word. OK, only one - 'normal')
One day, that was after few days of thinking, I thought that I've had enough. I need to talk to my boss. I have been drafting the words that I'm going to use when I meet him - "Firstly, I love working here together with those wonderful friends and secondly, quitting is the last thing on my mind. But, in between there is this problem...".
The client is a very reputable developer in the country. They are refuted as being the number one in the industry. They built good townships, sometimes with refreshing concept to what is available in the market. Their sales are always good except for one commercial development, perhaps due to their lack of experience in developing one. With all these, comes the reputation that they must maintain. To stay as a leader in the industry, maintaining alone is not enough. They need to grow that reputation. They need to come out with something new.
Now, that is the problem. The main problem.
To be able to come out with something new, one needs to understand few things. In my opinion, the past achievements are important because now what they need to do is a tricky balancing act of connecting and disconnecting with the past at the same time. They need to connect to know what has been done that contributed to the success and later to ditch it totally when exploring for the new future. Finally, a delicate balance between the two to create an ideal product that will show the market of what is their direction for the future, and at the same time bridging it all with their glorious past.
I was instructed to come out with something new and locally radical. I wouldn't call it revolutionary because it is not totally new. Other people have done it elsewhere but not here in Malaysia hence it will be easily perceived as radical in the local context. To the client, when it's radical, the 'wow' factor will always come with it. They want to wow the market and their competitors.
To make matters worst from my point of view as the consultant, it's not just the external competitors that their trying to beat but the boundary has dissolved to be within their own - between their subsidiaries, townships and senior execs. It is widely regarded that competition is healthy but in a way here, most of the time it has become a personal agenda for them to climb up the corporate ladder. It has turned into the devil within.
I have to deal with few devils of various ranks. Imagine the last person sending out instruction to me has at least more than two tiers above him to get the approval. I assume with his authority to send out instructions, he is equally accountable and responsible for whatever decision he makes. He should be able to make the best decision that in general not only will benefit the company, but in particular to the immediate boss above him, where in return will favor the boss above his boss, and so on. The chain is long but the void of this capability in making the best decision (not necessarily the best, at least to make a mere decision and be held responsible for it) has made the design process a big joke.
To pen it down easier, I'll give an actual scenario. The product is always a building, be it a house, office, shop etc. The highest management has decided that a sellable product must be available in 1 year time. Instructions passed down until it reached me as the architect. In between the highest management and the architect, all the executives are big cowards in determining the actual description of the product. The product is still left as the 'product'. They did not properly define it. None of them want to hold the responsibility and accountability if the product fails. They passed it down to the architect to formulate the product.
When I start, it was always under big vagueness of what I have to come out with. Constant grey and general instructions such as "it has to make an impact" and back to "it has to be sellable" put more pressure on me to come out with the perfect product.
Definitely, a lot of time consumed in developing the vague instructions. When I have come out with some visuals, there goes the process of gaining approval from the upper layers. Most of the time it was met with rejection, or at least with major modifications required. Blame is always on the architect. Here, time is ripped off me. And the budget too. Surprisingly, they can't afford it. Not because they don't have money but being a pure capitalist, minimum spending of your revenue will in return increase your profit margin.
It is very indeed true. But not when you are inventing to grow. Inventing is investing. Either time, brain source, effort or financial.
So, if they want to continue making profit, they should just stick to the already winning formula. Why bother to be new? From here, what I can see is that the vision of the leaders is lost halfway through the weak execs they employed. The leaders see what the future holds but the execs are well tied to the past fearing their decision making will turn into a failure and jeopardize the good paycheck they're enjoying every month.
In my opinion, the best practice is for the client to come out with a clear brief, a brief that they have to commit to. The architect will work around that. It is the common ground of understanding for both parties. Do not ask for something that you can't afford. Architects are not your fairy goddamn-mother.
As I mentioned above, I am stuck with the same client and the same project for almost 2 years. The loss is to my office, even to any office. Even though the project is prolonged, it is not reflected in the fee. The fee is still the same and will only entitled to claim once the project hit on site. Despite all that, I am still getting paid every months.
However, the biggest damage on my side is the mental stress I have endured somehow has affected me. The full extent is still unknown but there have been negative symptoms. I would prefer a prevention before it's too late.
Sadly, from the third paragraph onwards are what I wanted to say (or something pretty much similar to it) but it didn't happen when I finally met my boss. Understanding his already limited options if I ever to back off and noticing the needs to continue the project for the sake of the office, I realized actually my job is not just to fulfill the client's requirement but the most immediate urgency is for me to recognize and protect the interests of my boss.
With that realization, somehow it frees me up and I will continue on that project with an aim to finish it. I remember a light joke I made to my colleague when he mentioned about the recent achievements by two of our friends. Put aside that foreign award one of them is receiving and a professional title for the other, under current circumstance, my career goal is short termed and that is to just complete this project. At least, having it short termed has freed me up of my worry from the future and lifted the stress away from me. When I walked home that day while listening to a new nice song, the day felt so beautiful. It was also the day my wife received a good news - she has landed a job finally.
Cineplexx - Cosas De La Vida Normal
(seriously, I don't understand a single word. OK, only one - 'normal')
Monday, October 8, 2012
One Of The Sessions
Recently, I began to start playing futsal again after almost a year of hiatus. It was still held at the same venue, as it was 8 years ago. I still enjoy the game as it was.
I am not about to dwelve further on the game but more on the routine we used to have after the game. We used to go for drinks and late night meals at a nearby restaurant and talked about the game. Usually, it quickly turned into a catching up session.
We talked about our career, our life, our ambition - of how much we have achieved so far, or of how much we have gone astray from our strong beliefs, or rather what we used to believe. We talked about the places we wanted to go or already went. We talked about politics though we know little about it. We talked about architecture, the very thing that is running under our skin. We talked almost about everything around us or surrounding us. We cared.
Since I was on a hiatus, thus I have missed the post-game routine for at least a year. Then, 2 weeks ago I had the chance to be again in one of the session.
At one point, a friend recalled of an intention I once had to publish a collection of writings on the dilemma I faced as young architects. ‘The Young Architect’s Dilemma’ as I wanted it to be called at that time, was merely an effort to document my early experience as a practicing architect.
I remember at one of the previous sessions, we were talking about the places I have worked for. I have worked for an award-winning design firm, for a developer, for a big and established practice, and then for the government before lastly at present, I am working for a relatively new setup here in Kuala Lumpur, however with a strong and established base in Singapore. In between, I have returned to work with the design firm for a second time but it only lasted for just 3 months. Also, this is my second employment with my current employer after having a very short stint under different director about 5 years ago. For a record, in the early days of my second employment at my current office, my service was sought for the third time, to work for the design firm.
Leaving the employers were not all smooth. Apart from the normal resignations, there were instances where I was escorted out of the office. The short stint I had at the current office previously was short-lived because I had a heated argument with the director in a coffee shop just below the office. I have once being called into the principle architect’s room and learnt the hard truth about economy recession.
With those, came the despairs but not without the valuable experience. In a way, I am grateful to have chartered those paths and it makes what I am today. Hence, I think it is worth every word I type to have it composed and finally become a series for ‘The Young Architect’s Dilemma’.
Hope not that I need another year lapsed and have another session to remind me of what I have written today.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)